This was inspired Taylor Situwe http://sglcafe.com from SGL.
After reading Taylor’s blog on the Cocodorm drama, I was reminded that I almost became a Cocodorm boy. It was about four years ago, and I was staying in Chicago. I was on Gay.com and this guy hit me up and told me I had cute face and nice body. He asked me my age and stats and after becoming very impressed, he explained to me that he owned a website, said that it was very discreet, otherwise on the “downlow. He sounded nice. He said that if I wanted, with a face like mine, I could make a lot of money. He said I could make a thousand dollars just by doing one photo shoot. It was just my luck that during one of the few times in my life I had a job. But the invitation didn’t go away. I gave the guy my email address. We chatted but he also was hitting up my friend in Kansas. My friend was a fashion designer who had to go back home because he ran out of money for Design School. He was in desperate need to get back to Chicago and that’s where Cocoboys was located. So my friend called me one day and we talked it about over the phone. My friend was 21 years old at the time and I was 23. My friend was the cocoboy dorm type, his face was attractive, but he had a really huge dick like 13 inches. I was just going to be the pretty boy, because I didn’t have a huge dick, I was average. I guess I was going to be the Cocoboy dorm bttm. So my friend and I were both given the Cocoboy dorm passwords to its webcam and pics, so that we could check it out and see how we felt. My friend even went so far as to look for plane tickets to be flown to Chicago.
I had no issues with doing Cocoboys. The way I saw it, I was never going to run for a political office. I already had a criminal record, so porn was just another thing i was going to have to explain. And it was quick money, so I thought. And all I had to do was live in a dorm with other hot guys. Shit, I felt I should have been paying him. It was my sexual fantasy. But I also like the attention. I liked that he hit me up, it was as if I was discovered. So, why didn’t I do it.
I really don’t know why. I guess I forgot. And my friend, he ended up deciding to stay in Kansas. We never spoke of it again. It just fell through. But over the years I thought about it. Shit, Cocoboys wasn’t the only porn site or porn company that didn’t try to recruit me. I was the perfect profile. I didn’t have any parents. I wasn't close to my family. I was a lost child in the streets trying to act grown. I had no real direction in my life. I like to drink and smoke. I had a free spirit personality. I never worried about consequences. I was a good time. So I was the perfect model. I had everything to prove with so little. But lucky for me, I wasn't very unreliable. I was also a houseboy for many years. I had older men already taken care of me, so I really didn’t need the extra money. But after I saw the comments on Taylor’s website, I became really disturbed. But then again, I knew that was gay life. It was a use and be used world. But I also remembered how easy it was to get caught up. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? It’s only if you want there to be light. Otherwise, there’s just more darkness.
I say to those boys, keep your heads up, failure is just the beginning.